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A Homecoming I Didn’t Expect

 Well, it has been since July since I last checked in. A lot has taken place. More than I ever could have imagined. I cracked open in ways I didn’t see coming and healed pieces of myself I didn’t even know were still hurting. I definitely didn’t expect any of it to happen the way it did.

We moved back to Delaware from South Carolina. Honestly, I’m grateful we did. On the drive home, something in me broke loose. I cried and cried until I had no tears left. Somewhere on that highway, I touched a root fear that had been buried so deep I didn’t even know it still ruled me. The fear of abandoning my son the way my father abandoned me.

That realization hit me hard. It shook my entire system. But something surprising followed. After the tears came relief. A softening. A release. It was like I had reached into the bottom of an old wound and finally cleared out the debris. I could see clearly that I am not my father. I never was. That was the fear that kept circling me for years, and in that moment, it finally loosened its grip.

I leaned deeply into parts work over these past months. I discovered parts of myself I had never met before. Parts that were young, scared, protective, angry, hopeful. Parts that were simply waiting for me to turn toward them. I learned to listen. I learned to be curious instead of terrified of what might surface. And in that process, something shifted in me. I understand myself in ways I never thought I would.

This season of my life has been a wild ride, but it has also been one of the most important chapters. Coming home wasn’t just about returning to Delaware. It was about returning to myself.

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